Coping with a Late ADHD Diagnosis in Pasadena and Los Angeles

So, you’ve just received an ADHD diagnosis. Finally, after years of strife and confusion, it all makes sense and everything is magically falling into place, right? If you are reading this right now in Pasadena, Highland Park, or anywhere in Northeast Los Angeles, nearby Eagle Rock, Mount Washington, Altadena, South Pasadena, and La Canada Flintridge, and have been diagnosed with ADHD in adulthood, you’re probably yelling at the screen. No, it’s not all falling into place, is it? Yes, there is a part of you that feels like it all finally makes sense. There is a reason you show up the way you do. There is a reason some things are more challenging for you than others. There’s a reason that your relationship with your partner has been difficult. You finally know that reason. However, sometimes this is just a first step to what becomes a challenging road ahead.

The Unspoken Grief of a Late Diagnosis

All of a sudden, your neurodivergence is right in front of you constantly. Sure, it’s validating to have answers, but there is much work ahead and often a lot of grief and loss that comes along with facing this diagnosis.

You might start to wonder what your life could have been like if you had known sooner.

You might feel a sense of utter loss looking back at all the years that you silently struggled and compared yourself to others who seemed to move through life with ease.

You might feel some relief and explanation for why being in a relationship with your partner has been so difficult.

There might be shame that comes up as you feel that you should have gotten help sooner, or shame when you think about having the diagnosis and what that means for your daily life.

Navigating Overwhelm with Neurodivergent-Affirming Therapy

There is undoubtedly also a big part of you that feels overwhelmed with how to cope with your ADHD moving forward. Looking ahead can feel daunting—where do you begin? If you can relate to any of this, you are not alone. These experiences are very common for adults who have received an ADHD diagnosis later in life or who are simply struggling to cope with executive dysfunction and daily rhythm that impact you and your relationship with loved ones.

Through a neurodivergent-affirming lens, therapy isn't about fixing who you are; it's about learning how your brain naturally works and building accommodations that support you. It is also learning how to do your relationships different through couples therapy, friendship therapy, parenting support, and family therapy. At Oak and Stone Therapy, so many of our clients across our Pasadena, Highland Park, and Los Angeles office in Koreatown are navigating this exact juncture.

You are not alone.

You are not broken.

Healing from the shame, the overwhelm, and the grief is possible. Cultivating tools that will help you work with your ADHD and not against it is entirely within reach. If any of this resonates with you, I hope you reach out. This is not the end of your story.

Reading one of my other blog posts on The Deep Dark Scaries of Motherhood: Postpartum Mental Health, Anxiety and Self-Care.

About the Author

Elizabeth Yoshonis, AMFT #157277, a maternal mental health therapist who works under supervision, offering postpartum therapy for postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, birth trauma, infertility, pregnancy loss, and women’s issues at Oak and Stone Therapy at both the Pasadena office, Highland Park office, and virtually across California. She helps mothers navigate the stressors of perinatal and postpartum life, raising young children, burnout, marriage stress, and life transitions.