Pre-marital Counseling

Premarital counseling is a series of sessions where you and your partner talk about how you want your marriage to work, before the wedding. Your counselor helps you strengthen communication, understand each other’s expectations, and practice handling conflict, so you can start married life on steady ground. It is a place to have the real conversations, with someone trained to guide them.

No. Most couples who come are happy together and want to start strong. Premarital counseling is less about fixing problems and more about learning how you each think, feel, and handle stress, so small differences do not grow into big ones later. If you have noticed a pattern you want to understand, it can help with that too.

Many couples begin a few months before the wedding, once they are engaged or have decided to marry, so there is time to talk, practice, and make changes without the pressure of the final weeks. Starting earlier is fine, and some couples begin when they are seriously dating and talking about a future together. If your wedding is soon, reach out anyway and we will see what is possible.

Couples work on how they communicate and handle conflict, money and spending, family and in-law expectations, roles and responsibilities at home, intimacy, children and parenting, work and life balance, faith and values, and the stress of wedding planning. You decide which topics matter most, and your counselor makes sure the harder conversations do not get skipped.

PREPARE/ENRICH is a widely used assessment for couples. You and your partner each complete a questionnaire on your own, and your counselor reviews the results with you in sessions. The results show your strengths as a couple and areas to grow, such as communication, conflict, finances, family, and expectations, which gives your conversations a clear starting point.

Our couples therapists use the PREPARE/ENRICH assessment and draw on the Gottman approach to build practical skills, like starting hard conversations gently and repairing after a fight. They also use Restoration Therapy, which helps each partner notice the pain-driven patterns that show up under stress and practice steadier responses together. Every therapist on our team is trained in Brainspotting, and you can read more on Our Approach.

The number of sessions depends on your goals, your timeline, and what comes up. Many couples meet for several sessions before the wedding, and your counselor will recommend a plan after getting to know you. You are welcome to continue afterward if it would help as you settle into married life.

That is common, and it is one of the best reasons to do premarital counseling. Differences about money, children, faith, where to live, or family are much easier to talk through before the wedding than after. Your counselor helps you each say what you really need, understand where the other is coming from, and look for solutions that work for both of you. If one of you is truly unsure about marrying, discernment counseling is a short-term option designed for that question.

It is very common for one partner to feel unsure or even a little defensive. A good way in is to frame it as getting ahead of things together, not as a sign that something is wrong, and to let your partner ask their own questions in a free consultation. Premarital counseling works best when both of you want to take part, and our counselors make sure each person feels heard.

Premarital counseling prepares you for marriage, usually with a structured plan that includes an assessment and conversations about expectations. Couples therapy in Pasadena & Los Angeles works on patterns and conflicts that are already causing distress, and marriage counseling in Pasadena & Los Angeles supports couples who are already married. Many of the same skills are used in all three, and your counselor can help you decide where to start.

Yes. Many couples are bringing two families, two sets of expectations, and sometimes two cultures into one marriage. Your counselor helps you talk about what each of you learned about love, roles, money, and loyalty growing up, how to honor your families without letting them run the marriage, and how to build your own way of doing things together. This is especially helpful for intercultural and interracial couples in Los Angeles and for couples balancing immigrant family expectations.

No. Premarital counseling at Oak and Stone Therapy does not require any faith, and couples of every belief are welcome. If faith is important to you, your counselor can talk about it as part of your values. Many churches and officiants ask couples to complete premarital counseling, so ask yours what they require and tell us when you reach out so we can plan with that in mind. You can also read about Christian counseling in Pasadena & Los Angeles.

Our couples therapists offer premarital counseling, and you can meet them on Our Therapists. For example, Michelle Park, AMFT (AMFT #165227) works with couples in Highland Park and Pasadena. Associates are employed by Oak and Stone Therapy and supervised by a licensed marriage and family therapist.

Yes. We offer in-person premarital counseling at our Pasadena office, Highland Park office, and Los Angeles office in Koreatown, and online through a HIPAA-compliant platform for couples located in California. Because our therapists are licensed in California, both of you need to be located in California during an online session. You can learn more about online therapy in California.

Premarital counseling works best when both partners feel safe to speak honestly. If you ever feel afraid of your partner, controlled, or unsafe, please tell us when you reach out, because couples sessions may not be the right first step and we can talk about support for you individually. If you are in immediate danger, call 911. You can also reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788, at any time.

Request a free consultation through our contact page. Tell us your wedding date or timeline and what you would like to work on, and we will help match you with a counselor. You can find session fees on our Fees page.