How does therapy support Asian American mental health?

Therapy provides a safe space to heal intergenerational trauma, manage career stress, overcome creative blocks, and navigate cultural identity challenges. Services include Brainspotting and EMDR therapy available in Los Angeles, Pasadena, the Bay Area, and across California.

What mental health issues commonly affect Asian American communities?

Common concerns include anxiety, depression, perfectionism, impostor syndrome, family pressures, relationship challenges, and creative blocks. Asian American therapists at Oak and Stone Therapy provide culturally sensitive support using Brainspotting, EMDR, and other healing modalities.

Is culturally sensitive therapy important for BIPOC and children of immigrants?

Yes, culturally sensitive therapy acknowledges racial identity, cultural values, and intergenerational expectations. Our services include Brainspotting and EMDR therapy adapted to the needs of BIPOC and first-generation clients across California.

Who can benefit from Oak and Stone Therapy's blog?

Our blog supports Korean Americans, Taiwanese, Japanese, Chinese, Indian, Indonesian, Singaporean, Filipino, and other East and South Asian communities, as well as BIPOC individuals and first-generation Americans seeking emotional growth, resilience, and culturally sensitive therapy options like Brainspotting and EMDR.

What’s Your Signature Strength (And How to Keep It From Overworking)?

Relationships

Sep 8

Written By Hatty J. Lee

Image of a fist to symbolize when a superpower could be overworked and the importance of harnessing it sustainably.

Have you ever been praised for something that also feels like your biggest source of stress? For example: “You’re so responsible!” (but you feel the weight of the world) or “You’re so thoughtful!” (but you're exhausted from anticipating everyone's needs)?” Oftentimes, the things that make us effective, kind, and successful also have a hidden side that can lead to burnout, anxiety, and feeling stuck if our strengths are overworked.

I hope to help you identify your signature strength, understand the hidden pain behind it when it’s overworked, and provide a compassionate framework to help you use it intentionally instead of automatically.

Read the following three descriptions and see which one feels most familiar:

1. The Diplomat

Your Superpower: You're a master at de-escalation. You have an innate ability to see all sides of a situation and are good at creating calm. You make people feel safe and heard.
When Your Superpower Is Overworked: You become a conflict-avoider. You might withdraw or suppress your own needs in order to keep the peace, even if you disagree internally. You start to feel distant, and that others don't truly know the "real" you.
You Might Say: "It's fine." “I don’t really have a preference.” “It’s not worth the argument.”
Your Hidden Pain: The fear that “My authentic self is a burden and will disrupt or compromise the connection I have with others.” It’s the core belief that expressing your true needs will lead to rejection or conflict.

2. The Achiever

Your Superpower: You're incredibly competent, resourceful, reliable, and driven. You get things done and make ideas and dreams a reality.
When Your Superpower Is Overworked: You become a perfectionist. You may struggle to complete projects for fear they aren't flawless, and your self-worth becomes tangled with your productivity. You might feel intense frustration with mistakes (yours or others’). Your drive turns into anxiety.
You Might Say: "I'll handle it." "What's the plan?" "I should have done better.”
Your Hidden Pain: The fear that "I am not enough as I am. My worth depends on my results and success." It’s the core belief that you must constantly achieve to be valued and loved.

3. The Caretaker

Your Superpower: You are incredibly attuned, empathetic, and nurturing. You make people feel deeply seen, heard, and cared for.
When Your Superpower Is Overworked: You become self-sacrificing. You pour so much into others that you become drained, resentful, and lose touch with your own feelings and needs. You might absorb others' emotions and start to feel used or under appreciated.
You Might Say: “I’m fine (when you’re actually not).” "What can I do for you?" "Don't worry about me!"
Your Hidden Pain: The fear that "I am only valuable / will only be loved if I am useful and helpful to others." It’s the core belief that you must prove your worth in relationships through constant giving.

What To Do When Your Strength is Being Overworked?

First, recognize that your strength has gotten you really far! They often serve as your mind's first and quickest way of protecting what matters most to you, and are really there to help you connect with others and do your best in the world. The goal now is to expand your options so that you have awareness and agency to choose how you want to respond, rather than being overtaken by it.

Here’s a tiny first step for each style:

Diplomats: Practice voicing a small preference. Example: “I'd actually rather see the 7pm movie, if that works for you."
Achiever: Intentionally do a task to a "good enough" standard and leave it. Notice what feelings come up.
Caretakers: Ask yourself, "What do I need right now?" before asking someone else. Spend 5 minutes meeting that need yourself.

These small acts of awareness are how we begin to appreciate our strengths while still leaving room to decide how we want to use them consciously.

If you read this and saw yourself in these patterns, let’s connect! I believe that the most fulfilling growth happens in the context of a supportive, collaborative relationship. If you're curious to not just understand these patterns but to be able to create a more intentional way of operating, I would be honored to be your guide.

About the Author

Nancy Denq, LMFT is a Taiwanese Bilingual Mandarin-speaking licensed marriage and family therapist #146636 at Oak and Stone Therapy in Los Angeles and Pasadena, California. Nancy specializes in relationship therapy, premarital counseling, discernment therapy, and couples therapy with Asian American and other minority individuals and couples who are high-functioning but emotionally disconnected, experiencing high conflict, stuck in avoidant and pursuer dynamics, couples in transition, and high-achieving but busy professionals, intercultural or interfaith couples, and couples healing from betrayal looking for a supportive space to improve communication and deepen their connection.

Asian American therapyRelationship CounselingAsian Therapist

Hatty J. Lee

Oak & Stone Therapy is a team of Asian American therapists who offers individual, couples, child and teens, and family therapy virtually across California and in-person in Los Angeles and Pasadena, California.

http://www.oakandstonetherapy.com