You May Never Feel “Ready”—And That’s Okay

This is a message for the planners, the overthinkers, and the perfectionists who want to get it just right the first time. For those who need a step-by-step guide before they make a move. If that’s you… I get it. That used to be me (and maybe still at times), too.

As a second-generation Asian American therapist, raised by immigrant parents, I was taught early that life doesn’t always go as planned. So I learned to prepare for everything—have a backup plan for every possible outcome, and never take a step unless I felt 100% certain. I thought if I wasn’t prepared, I’d be lost or helpless. That belief felt like safety… until life started happening.

You Can’t Prepare Your Way Into a Perfect Life

I prepared for marriage. But when I actually got married, I still felt unready.

I took all the childbirth classes and read all the books. Still, nothing could have prepared me for labor, motherhood, or the ways my life changed after becoming a parent.

Even as a therapist, I’ve had seasons where I question whether I’m “ready” for what life is asking of me.

But here’s what I’ve learned: I wasn’t ready—and those decisions were still some of the best in my life. Being married, becoming a mom, doing this work… it all made me into the person I am. The act of doing taught me more than all the preparation ever could.

Therapy for Perfectionism, Overthinking, and Life Transitions

At Oak & Stone Therapy, we specialize in working with:

• High-achieving professionals who feel stuck waiting for the “right time”

• Second-generation Asian Americans navigating cultural and family expectations

• New parents and those preparing for (or recovering from) birth and identity shifts

• Individuals struggling with perfectionism, control, and fear of failure

• People in major life transitions: marriage, parenthood, career change, or relocation

If you’ve ever said:

• “I’ll do it when I’m more prepared.”

• “I’m not ready yet.”

• “What if it goes wrong?”

…then therapy may help you untangle the internalized fears, cultural scripts, and perfectionistic beliefs that are keeping you stuck.

You Can Be Brave Without Feeling Ready

Let me say this: You are allowed to begin even when you’re unsure. You are allowed to move forward before you feel completely ready. Your courage doesn’t come from having a perfect plan—it comes from trusting that you’ll figure it out along the way.

Your life, your relationships, and your healing will teach you what no book or checklist ever could.

About the Author

Hatty J. Lee, LMFT #53772 (she/her) is an Asian American marriage and family therapist, Brainspotting practitioner, and founder of Oak and Stone Therapy. With over 15 years of experience in community mental health, schools, and private practice, she specializes in Asian American mental health, understanding the nuances of anxiety and how therapy can help people break free from perfectionism. Hatty provides therapy at the Los Angeles office, Pasadena office, and virtually throughout California and Seoul, South Korea. You can learn more about her insights on Instagram and her book The Indwell Guide, a visual storytelling and mental health guide that offers tools to support healing and self-discovery.