How does therapy support Asian American mental health?

Therapy provides a safe space to heal intergenerational trauma, manage career stress, overcome creative blocks, and navigate cultural identity challenges. Services include Brainspotting and EMDR therapy available in Los Angeles, Pasadena, the Bay Area, and across California.

What mental health issues commonly affect Asian American communities?

Common concerns include anxiety, depression, perfectionism, impostor syndrome, family pressures, relationship challenges, and creative blocks. Asian American therapists at Oak and Stone Therapy provide culturally sensitive support using Brainspotting, EMDR, and other healing modalities.

Is culturally sensitive therapy important for BIPOC and children of immigrants?

Yes, culturally sensitive therapy acknowledges racial identity, cultural values, and intergenerational expectations. Our services include Brainspotting and EMDR therapy adapted to the needs of BIPOC and first-generation clients across California.

Who can benefit from Oak and Stone Therapy's blog?

Our blog supports Korean Americans, Taiwanese, Japanese, Chinese, Indian, Indonesian, Singaporean, Filipino, and other East and South Asian communities, as well as BIPOC individuals and first-generation Americans seeking emotional growth, resilience, and culturally sensitive therapy options like Brainspotting and EMDR.

The Problem with Unsolicited Advice: When Helping Isn’t Helpful

Relationships

Jul 8

Written By Hatty J. Lee

Ever been on the receiving end of unsolicited advice or unwanted “help”?
You’re not alone.

While these responses often come from good intentions, the experience can leave you feeling misunderstood, unheard, more anxious, and less connected — the exact opposite of what you likely needed in that moment.

In my experience, unsolicited advice usually says more about the giver’s need to alleviate their own discomfort than it does about what the recipient actually needs. When we care about someone in pain, it’s tempting to jump into problem-solving mode — to say the right thing, offer the quick fix, or ease the suffering as fast as possible. But more often than not, what’s most healing isn’t a solution — it’s presence.

If You’re Supporting Someone in Pain

Instead of offering advice right away, try slowing down. Be attentive. Ask gentle, curious questions. Let them lead.

There is power in sitting with someone’s pain without trying to fix it. It takes patience, humility, and a willingness to be uncomfortable. But in that discomfort, something meaningful happens: the person suffering gets to be seen, heard, and accompanied — not managed.

Sometimes, just being present is the most profound form of support.

If You’re on the Receiving End

If you’ve received unsolicited advice or “help” that felt intrusive or invalidating, you’re not overreacting.

When it feels safe, consider gently naming your need:
“I really appreciate you wanting to support me. Right now, I don’t need advice — I just need someone to sit with me.”

Often, these moments can be an opportunity for deeper connection. Letting people know what’s truly helpful — and what isn’t — can expand their capacity to show up differently, more attuned and more grounded.

As a Therapist...

My hope is to be a quiet companion to my clients in their suffering — not to rush their process, not to “fix,” but to be a steady presence.

To offer a space where their pain can unfold in its own time.
To trust that their truths will emerge when they’re ready.
To hold space that invites real transformation—not through answers, but through witnessing.

Because sometimes the most powerful thing we can offer each other isn’t advice at all.
It’s presence. It’s patience. It’s the gift of not needing to do anything except be here.

Hatty J. Lee, LMFT (she/her) is an Asian American licensed marriage and family therapist and brainspotting practitioner who has been practicing for 14 years in community mental health settings, schools, and private practice virtually across California and in-person in Los Angeles and Pasadena, California. As the founder and clinical director of a group practice called Oak and Stone Therapy in Los Angeles, CA, she trains clinicians and supports people to deepen their relationship with themselves and the most important people in their lives. She writes about mental health on her Instagram and is the co-author of The Indwell Guide that integrates visual storytelling, mental health education, and practical tools to support people to heal and thrive.

Hatty J. Lee

Oak & Stone Therapy is a team of Asian American therapists who offers individual, couples, child and teens, and family therapy virtually across California and in-person in Los Angeles and Pasadena, California.

http://www.oakandstonetherapy.com