How does therapy support Asian American mental health?

Therapy provides a safe space to heal intergenerational trauma, manage career stress, overcome creative blocks, and navigate cultural identity challenges. Services include Brainspotting and EMDR therapy available in Los Angeles, Pasadena, the Bay Area, and across California.

What mental health issues commonly affect Asian American communities?

Common concerns include anxiety, depression, perfectionism, impostor syndrome, family pressures, relationship challenges, and creative blocks. Asian American therapists at Oak and Stone Therapy provide culturally sensitive support using Brainspotting, EMDR, and other healing modalities.

Is culturally sensitive therapy important for BIPOC and children of immigrants?

Yes, culturally sensitive therapy acknowledges racial identity, cultural values, and intergenerational expectations. Our services include Brainspotting and EMDR therapy adapted to the needs of BIPOC and first-generation clients across California.

Who can benefit from Oak and Stone Therapy's blog?

Our blog supports Korean Americans, Taiwanese, Japanese, Chinese, Indian, Indonesian, Singaporean, Filipino, and other East and South Asian communities, as well as BIPOC individuals and first-generation Americans seeking emotional growth, resilience, and culturally sensitive therapy options like Brainspotting and EMDR.

The Power of Shame — and How We Begin to Loosen Its Grip

Trauma

Aug 14

Written By Hatty J. Lee

Shame is one of those powerful emotions that takes guilt to the next level.
While guilt says, “I did something wrong,” shame whispers, “There’s something wrong with me.”
It doesn’t just call our actions into question — it targets our identity. It tells us we are defective, not enough, unworthy, or unlovable.

And when left unacknowledged, shame grows.

It functions like a disease — the more it’s neglected, denied, minimized, or dismissed, the more it spreads into every area of our lives. It shapes the way we relate to others, the decisions we make, how we imagine our future, what we think we deserve, and how we carry ourselves in the world.

Why We Stay Silent

Many of us were raised to stay quiet about the hard things — what happens at home, the secret thoughts in our minds, the grief or pain we carry.
We’re taught, implicitly or explicitly, that vulnerability is dangerous. That we can’t trust others with the truth of our story. And often, this belief is reinforced by people we love — people who are also carrying unspoken shame, people who were hurt when they opened up to the wrong person.

So we tell ourselves: Better to stay silent. Better not to risk it.

And yet, this silence — this internal exile — only deepens our isolation and reinforces shame’s power.

The Antidote to Shame is Connection

But something shifts when we begin to turn toward the painful parts of our story.
When we let ourselves be seen — even if just by one safe person.
When we share what we’ve hidden with someone who has earned the right to hear it — sometimes a trusted friend, sometimes a therapist.

As we do this, we begin to realize something profoundly healing:
We are not alone in our human experience.
And we never were.

The vulnerability we once feared becomes the doorway to compassion — from others, and eventually, from ourselves.
And the hold of shame begins to loosen.

Speak It to Weaken It

As @brenebrown so wisely says, “Shame derives its power from being unspeakable.”
The more we stay silent about what hurts, the deeper shame grows its roots. But when we bring those stories into the light — even trembling, even afraid — we reclaim our power.

We begin to say:
This is part of me, but it does not define me.
This happened to me, but it is not all of me.
I am still worthy. I am still loveable. I am still here.

May you find the courage to share your story — even if your voice shakes.
May you find people who can hold it with tenderness.
And may you remember, always: you are not alone.

Hatty J. Lee, LMFT (she/her) is an Asian American licensed marriage and family therapist and brainspotting practitioner who has been practicing for 14 years in community mental health settings, schools, and private practice virtually across California and in-person in Los Angeles and Pasadena, California. As the founder and clinical director of a group practice called Oak and Stone Therapy in Los Angeles, CA, she trains clinicians and supports people to deepen their relationship with themselves and the most important people in their lives. She writes about mental health on her Instagram and is the co-author of The Indwell Guide that integrates visual storytelling, mental health education, and practical tools to support people to heal and thrive.

Hatty J. Lee

Oak & Stone Therapy is a team of Asian American therapists who offers individual, couples, child and teens, and family therapy virtually across California and in-person in Los Angeles and Pasadena, California.

http://www.oakandstonetherapy.com