When You’re the First to Build Wealth: Mental Health Support for First-Gen Asian Americans
If you’re like many of our clients at Oak & Stone Therapy, you’ve worked incredibly hard to create financial stability—often from nothing. You might be the first in your family to build wealth, to invest, or to even think about things like “financial planning.” And while this kind of success is something to be proud of, it can also come with a weight that’s hard to explain—especially when you're navigating it as an Asian American or child of immigrants.
The Emotional Weight of Breaking New Ground
Growing up, you might’ve witnessed your parents stress over every bill or take on long hours just to get by. You may have learned early that money equals safety—and that spending or “enjoying it” could feel wrong, wasteful, or even scary. So when you’re finally in a place where you can enjoy your hard work, you may find yourself carrying guilt, anxiety, or imposter syndrome instead of peace.
Being the first to build wealth in your family doesn’t just come with pride—it often comes with responsibility, unspoken expectations, and emotional complexity. It’s not just about money—it’s about identity, family roles, legacy, and how you see yourself now.
What We See in Therapy with First-Gen Wealth Builders
Feeling like you have to hold everyone up. The pressure to support aging parents, help siblings, or even be a “safety net” for extended family is real. It can be hard to say no—even when it’s costing your own well-being.
Fear of losing what you’ve built. When you’ve worked so hard to get to where you are, the fear of slipping backward can feel overwhelming. We often see clients who struggle to relax, spend, or enjoy their success without second-guessing themselves.
Imposter syndrome in high-achieving spaces. Even after hitting financial goals or reaching leadership roles, you might feel like you don’t belong—especially when you’re surrounded by people who come from generational wealth. That quiet fear of being “found out” or not knowing enough is a story we hear often.
Feeling alone or misunderstood. Sometimes your success creates emotional distance. Friends or relatives might not understand what you’re going through—or you may hesitate to share what’s really going on for fear of being judged or misunderstood.
Identity whiplash. Who are you now that you’ve “made it”? For many first-gen wealth builders, financial security brings a new kind of identity crisis. The values you grew up with may not fully align with the lifestyle or community you now find yourself in.
How Therapy Can Help
If any of this resonates, you’re not alone. Therapy can be a space to:
Unpack your financial story. Exploring the beliefs, fears, and lessons you learned about money growing up can bring so much clarity to the way you handle finances—and how it connects to stress, guilt, or pressure.
Set healthy boundaries. You’re allowed to care for your family without overextending yourself. Therapy can help you set boundaries with compassion and communicate your needs more clearly.
Move through imposter syndrome. Together, we explore where the inner critic comes from and help you start seeing your success through a lens of truth—not fear or comparison.
Work through financial anxiety. You don’t have to live in survival mode forever. Therapy can support you in cultivating a healthier relationship with risk, uncertainty, and long-term planning.
Reclaim joy and purpose. At some point, success has to feel like yours. Therapy helps you align your financial life with your values—so that your wealth feels meaningful, not burdensome.
You Deserve to Thrive—Not Just Provide
Being the first to build wealth in your family is no small feat. And yet, you’re allowed to have needs too. You’re allowed to rest. You’re allowed to want joy, freedom, and emotional security—not just financial stability.
At Oak & Stone Therapy, we hold space for Asian American professionals, creatives, and founders who are navigating the layered realities of building something new. If you’re ready to explore your relationship with money, identity, and success in a deeper, more compassionate way, we’re here to support you.
Oak and Stone Therapy is a team of Asian American therapists who meet with clients virtually across California / Washington and in person in Los Angeles and Pasadena, California. We specialize in Asian American mental health and understand the nuances of how our relationship with money, first-generation wealth, and intergenerational wealth impact our mental health. Fill out an inquiry here to get connected with an Asian American therapist today.
