How does therapy support Asian American mental health?

Therapy provides a safe space to heal intergenerational trauma, manage career stress, overcome creative blocks, and navigate cultural identity challenges. Services include Brainspotting and EMDR therapy available in Los Angeles, Pasadena, the Bay Area, and across California.

What mental health issues commonly affect Asian American communities?

Common concerns include anxiety, depression, perfectionism, impostor syndrome, family pressures, relationship challenges, and creative blocks. Asian American therapists at Oak and Stone Therapy provide culturally sensitive support using Brainspotting, EMDR, and other healing modalities.

Is culturally sensitive therapy important for BIPOC and children of immigrants?

Yes, culturally sensitive therapy acknowledges racial identity, cultural values, and intergenerational expectations. Our services include Brainspotting and EMDR therapy adapted to the needs of BIPOC and first-generation clients across California.

Who can benefit from Oak and Stone Therapy's blog?

Our blog supports Korean Americans, Taiwanese, Japanese, Chinese, Indian, Indonesian, Singaporean, Filipino, and other East and South Asian communities, as well as BIPOC individuals and first-generation Americans seeking emotional growth, resilience, and culturally sensitive therapy options like Brainspotting and EMDR.

How Trust is Built One Small Act at a Time: An Asian Therapist’s Reflections

Relationships

May 13

Written By Hatty J. Lee

Learning to trust someone isn’t a clean, linear process. It’s more like a two-steps-forward, one-step-back kind of rhythm—something I often talk about with clients in therapy. While our culture romanticizes instant connection and total vulnerability, the reality is that emotional intimacy and relational trust are built gradually, with intention.

There is always risk involved in trusting someone. And sometimes, we rush in too quickly—offering too much of ourselves all at once, only to feel hurt or disappointed when our trust isn’t honored.

Trust Is Built One Small Act at a Time

If you want to know whether someone is trustworthy, don’t start by handing them your deepest vulnerability. Start small. Trust with one small thing at a time, not one big thing.

This way, if they don’t respond in the way you hoped, you can take a step back—without having to retreat entirely. This incremental approach helps protect your nervous system, preserve your dignity, and allow space for both people’s humanity and imperfection.

Trustworthiness Isn’t About Perfection—It’s About Predictability

Research shows that trust is built when someone behaves in trustworthy ways at least 90% of the time—not 100%. That’s perfectionism, and it’s unrealistic. But 9 out of 10 times? That’s what people report they need to create a sense of emotional safety, consistency, and reliability.

This is true across all types of relationships—romantic, familial, friendships, and even professional dynamics. Whether you're navigating multigenerational expectations as an Asian American adult, working through childhood attachment wounds, or slowly reopening to intimacy after betrayal, this framework allows you to grow trust at your own pace.

What Are Trustworthy Behaviors in Relationships?

Trustworthy behavior is not just about big promises or dramatic gestures. It’s about the small, consistent choices that create safety over time. Examples include:

Keeping your word—even on the little things
Following through with commitments
Giving the benefit of the doubt when appropriate
Speaking kindly, even in disagreement
Being honest, even when it’s hard
Showing up—at celebrations, during conflict, and in moments of need
Remembering important details
Practicing emotional transparency
Confronting lovingly and constructively
Apologizing and repairing when you fall short
Offering generosity without strings attached

How to Grow in Trust and Emotional Intimacy

At Oak & Stone Therapy, our team of Asian and Asian American therapists work with individuals, couples, child and teens, and families navigating:

Broken trust and emotional betrayal
Inconsistent caregiving or attachment wounds
Relationship anxiety and fear of vulnerability
Family dynamics that challenge relational safety
Cultural values around loyalty, obligation, and trust—especially for Asian American and bicultural clients
Perfectionism and fear of letting others in

Whether you’re rebuilding trust after a rupture, deepening emotional intimacy in a long-term relationship, or learning to trust for the first time—therapy can help you move at a pace that honors your story and your nervous system.

Trust Grows With Practice, Not Pressure

So, how can you grow in trustworthiness within your own relationships?

Start by asking yourself:

Am I consistent in the ways I show up for others?
Do I follow through on what I say?
Can people count on me emotionally—not just physically?
Am I honest and kind, even when I’m uncomfortable?
Do I give others the chance to earn my trust slowly?

Building trust takes time. But when both people are committed to trustworthy behavior, emotional safety, and honest reflection—it becomes one of the most healing experiences in any relationship.

About the Author

Hatty J. Lee, LMFT #53772 (she/her) is an Asian American marriage and family therapist, Brainspotting practitioner, and founder of Oak and Stone Therapy. With over 15 years of experience in community mental health, schools, and private practice, she specializes in Asian American mental health and supports her clients to deepen love and trustworthiness within their relationships. Hatty offers therapy at the Los Angeles office, Pasadena office, and virtually throughout California and Seoul, South Korea. You can learn more about her insights on her Instagram and her book The Indwell Guide, a visual storytelling and mental health guide that offers practical tools to support healing and self-discovery.

Relationship CounselingAsian American TherapyAsian Therapist

Hatty J. Lee

Oak & Stone Therapy is a team of Asian American therapists who offers individual, couples, child and teens, and family therapy virtually across California and in-person in Los Angeles and Pasadena, California.

http://www.oakandstonetherapy.com