How does therapy support Asian American mental health?

Therapy provides a safe space to heal intergenerational trauma, manage career stress, overcome creative blocks, and navigate cultural identity challenges. Services include Brainspotting and EMDR therapy available in Los Angeles, Pasadena, the Bay Area, and across California.

What mental health issues commonly affect Asian American communities?

Common concerns include anxiety, depression, perfectionism, impostor syndrome, family pressures, relationship challenges, and creative blocks. Asian American therapists at Oak and Stone Therapy provide culturally sensitive support using Brainspotting, EMDR, and other healing modalities.

Is culturally sensitive therapy important for BIPOC and children of immigrants?

Yes, culturally sensitive therapy acknowledges racial identity, cultural values, and intergenerational expectations. Our services include Brainspotting and EMDR therapy adapted to the needs of BIPOC and first-generation clients across California.

Who can benefit from Oak and Stone Therapy's blog?

Our blog supports Korean Americans, Taiwanese, Japanese, Chinese, Indian, Indonesian, Singaporean, Filipino, and other East and South Asian communities, as well as BIPOC individuals and first-generation Americans seeking emotional growth, resilience, and culturally sensitive therapy options like Brainspotting and EMDR.

Happiness vs. Peace: What Are We Really Chasing?

For You

May 26

Written By Hatty J. Lee

So many of us carry rigid, limited ideas about what happiness should look like—and we build our lives around chasing it. We strive for it, feel disappointed when we don’t experience it, and blame ourselves when we can’t seem to hold onto it. We imagine others living in a state of constant joy, and wonder what’s wrong with us that we can’t feel the same.

Honestly? It can feel like a deeply unhappy and frustrating journey—trying so hard to “get happy” only to feel like we’re falling short again and again.

The Truth About Happiness

Happiness is fleeting. It’s momentary.
It’s a beautiful feeling — but it’s not a reliable state of being or a fixed mindset we can live in 24/7.

If we’re always chasing happiness, we’ll keep hitting a wall of unmet expectations.
And worse, we may invalidate ourselves — or others — during times when happiness simply isn’t what’s needed or real.

What’s Worth Pursuing Instead?

Peace of mind.

Unlike happiness, peace is steady. It’s grounded. It helps us stay aligned with our values, our truth, and our sense of who we are — especially when life isn’t easy.

Peace doesn’t mean we’re unaffected by grief, stress, or fear. It means we can stay centered within it.
It allows us to sit with sadness, ride through uncertainty, or simply be in the mess of the moment without losing ourselves.

Stop Telling Yourself (or Others) to "Be Happy"

Please don’t tell yourself to “just be happy” when:

You’re grieving the end of a relationship
A loved one is facing chronic illness
You’re overwhelmed at work or fearing job loss
You’re depressed, anxious, or deeply lonely

Even when encouragement is well-intentioned, it can feel like emotional bypassing when we’re not ready—or able —to be okay.

We need space to hurt. To not be okay. To say “this is hard” without pressure to turn it into something uplifting right away.

Instead, Seek Peace

Peace lets us:

Accept what’s happening without needing to like it
Grieve losses honestly
Feel our emotions without judgment
Get curious about what’s underneath the pain
Admit when we need help
Keep going — even when there’s no tidy resolution

Peace doesn’t require a happy ending.
It just asks for presence, permission, and gentleness.

A Reflection

What’s getting in the way of your peace today?
Where are you chasing happiness when what you really need is permission to just be?

Wherever you are, may you know: you don’t have to be happy to be okay.
You just need to come home to yourself — with compassion, with honesty, and with peace.

Hatty J. Lee, LMFT (she/her) is an Asian American licensed marriage and family therapist and brainspotting practitioner who has been practicing for 14 years in community mental health settings, schools, and private practice virtually across California and in-person in Los Angeles and Pasadena, California. As the founder and clinical director of a group practice called Oak and Stone Therapy in Los Angeles, CA, she trains clinicians and supports people to deepen their relationship with themselves and the most important people in their lives. She writes about mental health on her Instagram and is the co-author of The Indwell Guide that integrates visual storytelling, mental health education, and practical tools to support people to heal and thrive.

Hatty J. Lee

Oak & Stone Therapy is a team of Asian American therapists who offers individual, couples, child and teens, and family therapy virtually across California and in-person in Los Angeles and Pasadena, California.

http://www.oakandstonetherapy.com