How does therapy support Asian American mental health?

Therapy provides a safe space to heal intergenerational trauma, manage career stress, overcome creative blocks, and navigate cultural identity challenges. Services include Brainspotting and EMDR therapy available in Los Angeles, Pasadena, the Bay Area, and across California.

What mental health issues commonly affect Asian American communities?

Common concerns include anxiety, depression, perfectionism, impostor syndrome, family pressures, relationship challenges, and creative blocks. Asian American therapists at Oak and Stone Therapy provide culturally sensitive support using Brainspotting, EMDR, and other healing modalities.

Is culturally sensitive therapy important for BIPOC and children of immigrants?

Yes, culturally sensitive therapy acknowledges racial identity, cultural values, and intergenerational expectations. Our services include Brainspotting and EMDR therapy adapted to the needs of BIPOC and first-generation clients across California.

Who can benefit from Oak and Stone Therapy's blog?

Our blog supports Korean Americans, Taiwanese, Japanese, Chinese, Indian, Indonesian, Singaporean, Filipino, and other East and South Asian communities, as well as BIPOC individuals and first-generation Americans seeking emotional growth, resilience, and culturally sensitive therapy options like Brainspotting and EMDR.

“Stop Worrying!” (As If That Ever Worked)

For You

May 18

Written By Hatty J. Lee

When’s the last time someone told you to “Stop worrying” — and it actually helped?
Yeah… probably #never.

So many of us spend enormous energy trying to hide, escape, project, or internalize our anxiety, especially in our relationships. But no matter how well we try to mask it, anxiety always finds a way out—often through our bodies, our behaviors, or our responses to the people we care about.

The unknown, ambiguity, and lack of control can be deeply triggering—setting off our fight-or-flight system before we even realize it. And in those moments, we tend to fall into roles:

The blamer
The shamer
The controller
The escaper

Which one do you default to?

Anxiety Isn’t the Enemy

Let’s be clear: anxiety is not a bad thing. It’s part of our human design — built to heighten awareness, keep us alert, and protect us from potential danger.

But when anxiety becomes excessive or chronic, we lose the ability to regulate it. Our brain’s alarm system stays stuck in the “on” position, even when there’s no real threat.
We start living in survival mode — emotionally, physically, relationally.
And the cost?
Mental exhaustion, tension in our bodies, and a disconnection from the people we’re trying to feel safe with.

So What Do We Do Instead of #StopWorrying?

Rather than offer the shallow fix of “just relax,” here’s a deeper and more sustainable way to build emotional capacity — especially in the face of anxiety and ambiguity in relationships.

1. Honor Anxiety’s Purpose

Anxiety has a role — it’s trying to protect you. Instead of fighting it, sit with it.
Acknowledge:

You can’t control everything.
You won’t always know everything.
You can’t always be fully prepared.

You’re human. And that’s okay.

2. Soothe the Nervous System First

Before exploring deeper layers, regulate your body with practical, calming strategies like:

Movement or exercise
A warm bath or shower
Meditation or prayer
Yoga, stretching, or breathing exercises
Journaling or creative expression
Talking to a therapist
Mindfulness or grounding techniques

These help reduce the immediate intensity so you have more room to reflect — not just react.

3. Identify the Need Beneath the Anxiety

Ask:
What is my anxiety trying to tell me I need?

To be seen?
To feel safe or secure?
To know I’m worthy of love, attention, or time?

Anxiety often masks unmet emotional needs.

4. Get Curious About Your Reaction Patterns

How do you usually behave when you feel anxious?
Do you:

Lash out?
Withdraw?
Over-apologize?
Try to control or fix everything?

Then ask: Does this behavior actually get my needs met?
(Chances are, the answer is no.)

5. Create New Possibilities for Response

Start brainstorming:
If I didn’t do what I always do, how else could I respond?

Yes — it’s risky. There’s ambiguity again.
But you’re giving your brain a new option.
And every time you pause and choose a more meaningful response, you rewrite the script.

6. Practice. Mess Up. Try Again. Repeat.

None of this happens overnight. You will mess up. You will fall back into old patterns. That’s part of it.
But each time you try again — with intention, self-compassion, and curiosity — you’re building resilience.
You’re learning how to show up meaningfully, communicate more honestly, and love more deeply in your relationships.

Anxiety doesn’t have to run the show.
But it does need a seat at the table — so it doesn’t bang down the door later.

Hatty J. Lee, LMFT (she/her) is an Asian American licensed marriage and family therapist and brainspotting practitioner who has been practicing for 14 years in community mental health settings, schools, and private practice virtually across California and in-person in Los Angeles and Pasadena, California. As the founder and clinical director of a group practice called Oak and Stone Therapy in Los Angeles, CA, she trains clinicians and supports people to deepen their relationship with themselves and the most important people in their lives. She writes about mental health on her Instagram and is the co-author of The Indwell Guide that integrates visual storytelling, mental health education, and practical tools to support people to heal and thrive.

Hatty J. Lee

Oak & Stone Therapy is a team of Asian American therapists who offers individual, couples, child and teens, and family therapy virtually across California and in-person in Los Angeles and Pasadena, California.

http://www.oakandstonetherapy.com