How does therapy support Asian American mental health?

Therapy provides a safe space to heal intergenerational trauma, manage career stress, overcome creative blocks, and navigate cultural identity challenges. Services include Brainspotting and EMDR therapy available in Los Angeles, Pasadena, the Bay Area, and across California.

What mental health issues commonly affect Asian American communities?

Common concerns include anxiety, depression, perfectionism, impostor syndrome, family pressures, relationship challenges, and creative blocks. Asian American therapists at Oak and Stone Therapy provide culturally sensitive support using Brainspotting, EMDR, and other healing modalities.

Is culturally sensitive therapy important for BIPOC and children of immigrants?

Yes, culturally sensitive therapy acknowledges racial identity, cultural values, and intergenerational expectations. Our services include Brainspotting and EMDR therapy adapted to the needs of BIPOC and first-generation clients across California.

Who can benefit from Oak and Stone Therapy's blog?

Our blog supports Korean Americans, Taiwanese, Japanese, Chinese, Indian, Indonesian, Singaporean, Filipino, and other East and South Asian communities, as well as BIPOC individuals and first-generation Americans seeking emotional growth, resilience, and culturally sensitive therapy options like Brainspotting and EMDR.

Too Much or Just Misunderstood?

Relationships

May 21

Written By Hatty J. Lee

Have you ever been told you're “too much”?
Too sensitive. Too emotional. Too honest. Too open. Too needy. Too intense. Too loud.
The list goes on.

Being “too much” is often a reflection of clashing emotional languages—shaped by different upbringings, attachment styles, cultural backgrounds, and stages of life. What feels overwhelming to one person might be authentic self-expression to another.

As an Asian American therapist working with clients across Los Angeles and beyond, I often hear this phrase used in shame-filled ways. But your “too muchness” isn’t a flaw — it’s a signal. It’s pointing to something tender and real within you that’s asking for space, understanding, or connection.

What “Too Much” Is Actually About

When we are told we’re too much, it’s often because:

The other person has limited relational capacity
We haven't yet found the words to explain our needs or intentions
There’s a mismatch in emotional bandwidth or communication style

Sometimes, yes — we may overshare or overextend ourselves in relationships. That’s not a failure. That’s a learning curve. It's part of the work of reclaiming your voice, especially if you grew up in a culture or family system where emotional expression was discouraged.

Is Your "Too Much" a Growth Opportunity?

Your emotions, needs, and voice matter. But it's also fair to ask:

Is my "too much" rooted in fear or a past wound?
Am I trying to force closeness with someone who lacks the space for it?
Am I honoring both my truth and the reality of others’ limitations?

Self-awareness isn’t about shrinking — it’s about calibrating. Sometimes your emotional intensity is a strength that simply needs language, boundaries, and intentionality to flourish in connection.

Too Muchness Can Be a Beautiful Gift

In the right spaces, your “too much” will be seen as emotional honesty, depth, presence, or leadership. Surround yourself with people who appreciate your openness and your complexity. The goal isn’t to be less — it’s to be fully yourself, while honoring the impact you have on others.

Mistakes? Absolutely — we all make them. But don’t confuse your human growth with a reason to erase who you are.

“You will always be too much of something for someone: too big, too loud, too soft, too edgy. If you round out your edges, you lose your edge. Apologize for mistakes. Apologize for unintentionally hurting someone profusely. But don't apologize for being who you are.”
— Danielle LaPorte

Final Thoughts

If you’ve felt rejected for being too emotional, too expressive, or too intense — you are not alone. You are not broken. You're likely just learning how to find the right people, right rhythm, and right relational context to bring your full self forward.

Stop apologizing for being “too much.” Start learning how to make space for that voice — and how to use it well.

image of Asian therapist Hatty J. Lee, LMFT 83772

About the Author

Hatty J. Lee, LMFT #53772 (she/her) is an Asian American marriage and family therapist, Brainspotting practitioner, and founder of Oak and Stone Therapy. With over 15 years of experience in community mental health, schools, and private practice, she specializes in Asian American mental health and understands the nuances of how our relationship with money, first-generation wealth, and intergenerational wealth impact our mental health. Hatty provides therapy at the Los Angeles office, Pasadena office, and virtually throughout California and Seoul, South Korea. You can learn more about her insights on her Instagram and her book The Indwell Guide, a visual storytelling and mental health guide that offers practical tools to support healing and self-discovery.

Asian American TherapyAsian TherapistRelationship Counseling

Hatty J. Lee

Oak & Stone Therapy is a team of Asian American therapists who offers individual, couples, child and teens, and family therapy virtually across California and in-person in Los Angeles and Pasadena, California.

http://www.oakandstonetherapy.com