Is Perfectionism Hiding Your ADHD?

Ever wondered if your drive for perfection might be hiding something more? Especially within Asian American cultures, the strong emphasis on achievement can mask underlying ADHD. What looks like diligence might be a coping mechanism for inattention, hyperactivity, or impulsivity. At Oak and Stone Therapy, we often see high-achieving clients whose perfectionism obscures their ADHD.

The Overlap: Perfectionism as a Coping Strategy

You might hyperfocus on tasks of interest but struggle with everyday chores. The need to constantly re-check work, maintain rigid order, and strive for flawless results can be ways of managing ADHD, not just natural organization.

Subtle Signs of ADHD in High-Functioning Individuals:

Look for these less obvious signs:

• Difficulty multitasking

• Time management issues

• Chronic procrastination (often needing intense pressure)

• Frequent mood swings

• Over-commitment

• Sensitivity to rejection

• Racing thoughts

• Impulsivity in conversations

• Low self-esteem despite achievements

• Difficulty reading for extended periods

The pressure to appear competent can lead to strategies like hyper-organizing, excessive planning, constant reminders, intense hyperfocus, delegating, and mimicking others. While helpful short term, these can lead to burnout and relationship strain.

The Emotional Toll of Undiagnosed ADHD & Perfectionism:

Living with hidden ADHD and the pressure of perfectionism creates anxiety, fear of exposure, and feelings of inadequacy, fueling a cycle that impacts mental health.

Break the Cycle: Understanding and Support

Recognizing this connection is the first step. Seeking culturally competent mental health support is key for diagnosis and developing healthy coping skills. Therapy can help you manage ADHD symptoms and reduce the burden of perfectionism.

If this resonates, and you're an Asian American wondering about ADHD, you're not alone. Our therapists at Oak and Stone Therapy understand the cultural context and the nuanced ways ADHD can impact your life and relationships. We offer specialized support for individuals and neurodivergent couples. Take the first step towards understanding and managing your unique journey. You deserve recognition and support. Reach out to us today.