How Asian Americans Can Choose Rest in a Hustle-Obsessed Culture

In a world that often equates productivity with worth, especially within many Asian American communities shaped by immigration stories, sacrifice, and survival, choosing rest can feel almost radical.

We are taught to hustle — to achieve for our families, to succeed for our ancestors, to keep striving so that their sacrifices "weren't for nothing."
But what if the rest is not a betrayal of those dreams, but a necessary part of honoring them?

We all need and deserve rest. And I am not (just) talking about taking a nap or sleeping in to rest our physical bodies, but the kind of rest our emotional, relational, psychological, and spiritual selves need for the long, beautiful, complicated journey of life we all find ourselves on.

Rest vs. Escape: Understanding the Difference

Rest often gets confused with escape, especially in hustle-driven cultures where we are conditioned to push ourselves past exhaustion.

• Rest is about alignment and attuning to our real needs.

• Escape is about numbing or avoiding without truly restoring ourselves.

How can we tell the difference?

Exploring our motivations, feelings, and experiences around how we "rest" can be very informative.

Some examples:

• Physical Rest:
  Sleeping can nourish our bodies — but oversleeping to disconnect from pain can deepen shame and leave us feeling more drained.

• Pleasure and Leisure:
  Watching a favorite show or going on vacation can be deeply restorative, especially when we've overextended ourselves.
  But if we are using entertainment or travel solely to avoid conflict, grief, or internal discomfort, it can become a form of escape.

• Unplugging:
  Unplugging from the noise of the world can be healing — when it reconnects us with our truth, purpose, or loved ones.
  But if we unplug to numb out or withdraw from ourselves, it may create more isolation and pain.

The activities themselves are not the problem — it's the impact they have on us.

Choosing True Rest in a Hustle Culture

If we find ourselves trapped in cycles of escape, shame, or deeper exhaustion, it may be time to redefine what rest really means for us.

For Asian Americans raised in hustle-obsessed environments, true rest means:

• Restoring our connection to our own bodies and emotions.

• Reclaiming time and energy for what truly matters.

• Recognizing that our worth is not measured by our productivity.

• Honoring the dreams of our ancestors not just by succeeding — but by thriving emotionally, relationally, and spiritually.

Choosing rest is not weakness.
It is an act of strength, resistance, and profound self-respect.

When we choose rest intentionally, we nourish the parts of ourselves that hustle culture often demands we ignore: our humanity, our vulnerability, our dreams beyond success.

You are not selfish for resting.
You are not lazy for slowing down.
You are simply human — and that is more than enough.

Hatty J. Lee, LMFT (she/her) is an Asian American licensed marriage and family therapist and brainspotting practitioner who has been practicing for 14 years in community mental health settings, schools, and private practice virtually across California and in-person in Los Angeles and Pasadena, California. As the founder and clinical director of a group practice called Oak and Stone Therapy in Los Angeles, CA, she trains clinicians and supports people to deepen their relationship with themselves and the most important people in their lives. She writes about mental health on her Instagram and is the co-author of The Indwell Guide that integrates visual storytelling, mental health education, and practical tools to support people to heal and thrive.